7 Beginner Riders You Probably Will Meet


1. Researched Rider

This young dude has scoured the internet for six months straight before deciding on what jacket is best for him, the right bike to buy and how not to die.

The young twenty something is a graduate and is able to purchase a brand new bike. He goes through a session of hilarious monologue “what bike to get” but he answers himself “maybe you should work on another crash video, holy shit! , I don’t wanna ride.

“Common do this, plenty of people don’t crash when they ride. OK, wow! That guy got his leg sliced off, “why am I on life leak again”.

This guy might develop a superiority complex based on his excellent ability to spot minuscule difference in textile jackets, types of sliders etc. This guy has SURFED the net enough and gathered even enough information to write a thesis on the topic of riding bikes.

But what he will not tell you is how he dropped his bike three days after he bought it and he’d blame this on the newness of the bike.

2. The 600 starter

Everyone told him not to, “it is really not a great idea, you’ll learn more on a smaller bike”. He had heard a guy on the internet say in a yucky tone “only pussies start on small bikes, ” buddy of mine bought a 300, sold it the next day” he’s shocked and resolves to checking images of the 300 guys on Google and he’s like “these guys look truly stupid”, that’s it! ‘I can’t be like them’.

He searches the internet for the two thousand three Jake spa 600, a smile appears on his face and says to himself “now nobody will say I’m a pussy”. Whenever he’s challenged he says “hey I’m riding a 600, yo fucking pussy!” 

3. No research rider

You gotta hand it to some people, going into a lifestyle with hobby, drug addiction is all consuming as motorcycles with no prior is bossy.

No research till he decided one day he wanted a bike, he quickly slides Into a local dealership and with wanton disregard points at a bike and he’s like ” sure I’ll buy that one” he orders for a gear and an helmet and says ” I don’t need a jacket “.

It’s like showing up for your finals without having attended any classes and hoping to pass. The curve you can wish for is the one that’s not too steep right outside the dealership and hope that you can make it around, good luck bro!

4. Dirt bike since I was two

He says with a girly attitude and confidence ” bro I’ve been riding in the dirt since I was two, I’m a sick motor cross rider, this street riding shit is easy,  dude, I got this”.

This character has done a lot of stunts in the sand so he’s obviously a seasoned professional, he has no time, patience or energy to deal with you or one of your safety courses or your stupid ass small bikes, he passed that level as a kid, “we are going leader bikes, boy, and we ain’t coming back”.

He scorns your preparation, your 600, your gear. He’s been in the dirt, do you understand? All of your points are invalid; he doesn’t’t care what you have to say. It was the dirt and it was always the dirt. He’s superior in every weight, shape and form. 

5. Scooter dude (Non-committed)

Like the high school girl friend you had that strung you along for way more than you cared to admit, since you were dumb and didn’t realize she was giving you the run around.

The scooter dude wants to ride, this is very obvious, he goes to the MSF and decided getting the motorcycle license wasn’t worth it. He replies to “dude, you ain’t gotta scooter it up you gotta DUY” with “dude, say no more, liquor-cycles for life dawg”. 

As a side note scooters are affordable and an easy way to get around with but for most Americans I don’t think they’d ever be caught dead on one.

6. 650 starter bro

“What! You bought a 300 as your first bike? You are an idiot, everyone knows 360 is the true beginner bike, it has more features and I’d never get bored”. The 650 starter did even more research than the research bro and has discovered that the 250/300 path is not the way”.

He’s not a trial, he’s responsible. He’ll smite everybody that comes his way with the almighty power of his bike. 650 bro will likely keep his “impossible to grow out of bikes” for years and years until he realizes that it’s not actually that fast once he tries out something with a little more juice than his trusted steel.

7. The Vlogger

Due to the advent of motor blogging, some guys have started riding motorcycles to go explicitly into vlogging. Complete with super sick mean base thumbnails with impact vault, the vlogger picked up the prerequisites; the icon variant, the super model and the Go-Pro and he mutters with confidence “now I can be like my favorites on YouTube, surely copying what everyone else is doing will get me to the top”.

He yells “this is baby, sweet sweet YouTube is coming on the way” after a while he’s like “why, why, wait! Why is no one watching my video, everyone said this was easy, why is no one subscribing to my channel, this is ridiculous! I thought this was easy.


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